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Writer's pictureKavisa Wood, IBCLC

My Weaning Journeys: Parent vs. Child Led Weaning

By Kavisa Wood, IBCLC, Retired Milk Maker


Photos: Mom reading to toddler, Black woman breastfeeding toddler, Black woman with locs wearing "Retired Milk Maker" shirt

With my older son, I took a parent-led weaning approach. First I dropped down to 1 breastfeeding session right before bed. Then after his 2nd birthday over a period of a month, I reduced the time of that nursing session until he could only nurse for 1 minute. We talked about weaning during the entire process.


Pros of this approach:

  • Easier to follow a timeline

  • Allowed my son some time to adjust to less nursing over a month

  • Allowed my body time to adjust to hormonal shifts


Cons of this approach:

  • Less input from my son about how he feels about weaning

  • Weeks of him asking to nurse and having to say no


Child-led weaning

With my younger son, I thought I would start weaning him at 2, in January. But between him still waking up in the middle of the night to nurse and me grieving the fact that this would be our last baby, I kept extending the “end date”. Eventually, over the summer he started showing less interest in nursing.


When I noticed he would breastfeed for 1-2 minutes and then run off, I started reading “weaning” books to him to start the conversation in August. Then, in September, after a few sporadic nights of him not asking to nurse at all, I set an “end date”.


Books we read: Booby Moon by Yvette Reid, Boobies Go Bye-Bye by Cyana Riley and Nikki Osei-Barrett, Milky by Tori Fletes, My Milk Will Go, Our Love Will Grow by Jessica Elder


Pros of this approach:

  • Allowed me to follow my child’s lead and needs

  • Only took 5 days after the last nursing session to adjust and that was more about learning a new night routine. Weirdly he requested the book “Click, Clack, Moo” about cows who go on a milk strike more than any of the “weaning” books.

  • Allowed my body time to adjust to hormonal shifts


Cons of this approach:

  • Took us 8 months

  • Unease around “Will this be our last nursing session?”


Need prenatal education, lactation assistance, or weaning guidance? Learn more NourishingJustly.com


Other resources:

Learn more about weaning from the Institute for the Advancement of Breastfeeding and Lactation Education:

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